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Opinion for The Latino Newsletter

When I lost my job, I didn’t just lose income. I lost a part of my identity.

As a Latino man, I grew up with the belief that my value came from being a provider. A steady paycheck, respected job title, and the ability to care for my family weren’t just goals—they were the definition of manhood. That mindset ran deep. It shaped how I saw myself and how I thought others viewed me.

So when that job disappeared, I wasn’t just worried about bills. I was worried about what that said about me as a man, husband, and father. Would my wife see me as a failure? Would my son think I was a joke? Would my own community assume I was just another guy who couldn’t keep it together?

These questions weren’t just hypothetical. They became my internal monologue. For the first time in years, I didn’t know how to introduce myself. I had spent so long climbing the professional ladder that I didn’t realize how much of my self-worth had been wrapped around what I did for a living.

But over time, I learned something that I believe every Latino man needs to hear: Your value isn’t tied to your paycheck. It’s tied to who you are when no one is watching.

Breaking Old Beliefs

Rebuilding after job loss wasn’t about rushing into the next thing. It was about slowing down and examining what I had believed about myself for so long.

I began journaling, talking to mentors, and, admittedly, with hesitation, started therapy. It wasn’t easy to open up. Culturally, many of us are taught to suppress our emotions. To “suck it up.” But the pain I felt wasn’t just going to disappear by pretending everything was fine.

I had to grieve the loss of a version of myself: the high-achieving provider who always had the answers. And I had to make peace with a new version who was more present, more intentional, and more connected to his values.

Learning to Set Boundaries

During this time, I had a conversation with my father that changed everything.

He called me, concerned. “Mijo, you need to get back to work. You can’t just sit around. People are going to start wondering what happened.”

I knew he meant well. But I also knew I couldn’t absorb his fear as my own. So, I said something that felt both terrifying and liberating:

“Dad, I love you. But I don’t need advice right now. I’m rebuilding on my terms. Not for show. For my well-being and my family’s future.”

That was the beginning of setting boundaries, not just with others, but with my own inner critic.

Redefining Success

Eventually, I began exploring what success could look like beyond a job title. I invested time in learning new skills, reconnecting with hobbies, and building a vision that aligned with my values.

I realized I didn’t just want to bounce back. I wanted to move forward with intention.

Success, for me now, includes being emotionally available for my family. It includes rest. It includes saying no to opportunities that don’t align with my purpose.

And most importantly, it includes surrounding myself with people who understand what I’m trying to build, people who know that Latino men don’t have to carry the world alone to be respected.

Moving Forward With Integrity

I wish I could say the journey was easy. It wasn’t. But it was necessary.

If you’re a Latino man who has recently lost a job or just feels lost, I want you to know you’re not broken. You’re not weak for feeling uncertain. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Rebuilding your worth after a setback doesn’t mean rushing to prove yourself again. It means learning how to see yourself clearly without the noise of status, salary, or societal pressure.

Because your true value was never about the paycheck. It is about the person you are when no one else is keeping score.

About the Author

Chris Bustos is a Latino father and business coach who helps professionals and entrepreneurs scale their businesses without sacrificing family time or personal well-being. His work focuses on redefining success through clarity, boundaries, and purpose-driven growth.

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Immigration Conspiracy Theories: From Carlos Berríos Polanco and his Heavyweather page, “Over the last couple of months, a conspiracy theory has been brewing in the primordial slop that is social media comment sections. BlueAnon, a group of terminally online centrists, has been saying the countless videos of masked immigration enforcement officers are secretly right-wing paramilitary groups that have either been deputized by DHS or are masquerading as them.” That is not true, Carlos reports.

The Latino Newsletter welcomes opinion pieces in English and/or Spanish from community voices. Submission guidelines are here. The views expressed by outside opinion contributors do not necessarily reflect the editorial views of this outlet or its employees.