Transcript 0:00 [upbeat music] Welcome back to the Latino Newsletter Podcast. 0:04 I'm your host, Michelle Zacarias, and our guest today is Jay Trevino, queer social media influencer, DJ, and half of Preciosa, which is a grassroots movement created by Jay and her beautiful wife, Eden, which centers Latinos, community, and queerness for POC and women who love women. 0:23 Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Yeah. I'm so excited to chat with you because you and I actually know each other outside of the podcast. 0:32 Um, so there's so much that I've been wanting to talk about in terms of, like, your upbringing, your coming out journey. Um, but I'm really excited to also chat more about what you do outside work, right? 0:44 So for those who do follow you, um, we know that you and your wife, Eden, just welcomed a baby boy into the world. Congratulations. The only man in my life. I'm so excited. 0:55 [laughs] I know this has been kind of a journey for the both of you. Um, and you were someone who really wanted to be a mom. 1:02 Would you mind talking us through a little bit of, like, what that process was like for the both of you? Yeah. So we had Jayden via IVF, and believe it or not, it's been, like, a four-year process to have him. 1:14 So while a lot of people may think, like, "Oh, wow, they just had a baby," the- we've been in this entire thing of making it possible for the last four years. 1:23 And it's funny because when I met Eden, I was very upfront and I said, like, "I'm gonna... I wanna be a mom. I'm gonna have a baby with or without you. I just wanna put that out there." 1:32 [laughs] Um, and Eden didn't want any kids, so it was really interesting how everything just kind of changed over the years. 1:41 And, um, you know, I think when you meet your person, you just know, and that's kind of what happened to Eden, even though she was like, "Yeah, I don't know if I want kids, and we'll see if this works out." 1:50 Um, thankfully it did, [laughs] and we have Jayden, and it's been amazing, but it's been such a crazy journey to get him here. Yeah. 1:58 And it's so interesting that you say that Eden was the one who was a little more resistant to having children 'cause she's such a hands-on mom now, too. 2:06 We've talked about this, but I'm someone who leans more on the side of not having children, but I've been so fascinated by just, like, everything that you guys have been through, especially because the original plan was to have Jayden in Mexico, then it changed to the United States, then you ended up having Jayden in Mexico anyways. 2:25 Can you share a little bit about that? So originally, we were gonna give birth in Mexico, and Eden has family in Oaxaca, so it just made sense, um, to do it that way. 2:35 But because of the social climate and Trump's policies on immigration and citizenship, we just didn't wanna run the risk, so we ended up staying or planning to have him in the US. 2:45 But around seven and a half months, I started feeling less and less movement with Jayden in my stomach, and I was significantly big, like, bigger than what was projected to be. Like, my feet were super swollen. 2:59 I really couldn't breathe. I was having difficulties just getting from one room to the other. And then with Jayden not moving, I was really worried that something was happening. 3:07 I don't know, I had, like, a gut instinct or whatever mom woo-woo stuff going on. Um, and we went to our doctor to ask for, like, a, an extra ultrasound, and they refused. 3:18 Um, they basically said I was only entitled to one a month, and I had already used it at the time. And we just kept having these roadblocks with, with our medical providers that I just didn't feel comfortable. 3:29 I really felt like there was something wrong with him, with my baby, with me, that I called my Mexican doctor and I said, "Hey," like, "if I jump on a plane right now," which is not, [laughs] which is not something that they say you should do at seven and a half months, "but if I do," like, "can you give me an emergency ultrasound? 3:45 I really think there's something wrong with my child." Um, and she was like, "Yeah, of course." Like, "Get down here and we'll do it as soon as you land." 3:51 And sure enough, we get there, and the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice and the bag around the fetus that feeds him was punctured, so he was losing his nutrients. 4:01 And thankfully, we caught that, and luckily Eden is such a great partner that didn't, like, fight me on it. She was just like, "Your body, your choice. Let's do whatever you feel is right." 4:11 And if it wasn't for our quick thinking, I really don't think he would've made it. I think there would've been complications had we stayed in the US. 4:19 So can you talk to me a little bit of, like, what the decision-making process was like for you mentally as you're making all of these rapid-fire decisions about your livelihood and your child's livelihood? 4:31 Um, it happened really fast. Like, I think I woke up on a Monday and I said, "I'm gonna call my Mexican doctor," and on a Tuesday night, we were, we were on a plane, like, out of here. Um, and it was... 4:41 it's just, it was crazy because we had planned to have him here, so we had our whole nursery. All of his things were here in our LA apartment. 4:49 And to just kind of pick up and go like that, and then get the news that we did, which was, like, an emergency C-section is what needed to happen, my mind was spinning. I was not ready. 4:58 At seven and a half, I still thought I had, like, a month and a half to, like, get ready for, like, the contractions, maybe the water breaking. 5:05 Like, these, these thoughts of how I imagined my birth would be were just, like, out the door. Um, and I think at that point, it was just, like, a sink or swim type of mentality. 5:16 Like, I just wanted to get him out as safely as possible, and, and I didn't... I wanted to have as minimal complications as, you know, as we possibly could do at the time. 5:27 Jayden's grown to be, like, a really healthy, girthy baby boy. He's, like, right now in the middle of learning a lot of new things, processing a lot of new things about the world. 5:38 Do you feel, like, an extra sense of, I guess, responsibility raising a boy? Yes, 1000%. I think that Eden and I, 5:50 we really pay attention to everything that we teach him and everything that we do in front of him because we just don't wanna raise another, like, egotistical-... like stubborn man, for a lack of better term. 6:03 Like, I just, I, I wanna do good by him, and I wanna raise, like, a super sensitive... Like, being able to regulate all of his emotions I think is really important for us, and not being scared to do that. 6:14 And also, like, fighting the good fight, like injustices in general. Like, I want him to be aware. I want him to be vocal. We want him to just feel a well-rounded man, 'cause I think we need more of those in this world. 6:27 Yeah. Yeah, there is so much right now I think that young boys are conditioned to and they're exposed to, and even the ideas of, like, learning what healthy masculinity looks like and, um, boundaries. 6:41 Like you were saying, boundaries around other people, whether they're women or men or non-binary people, and just inclusivity. 6:49 And I think that's really beautiful because you guys have done a lot of work to create spaces like that, right? Like, you and Eden created Preciosa, and that has kind of grown into its own movement. 7:01 Um, can you talk a little bit about that? Because I know you shared with me that you grew up in Los Angeles experiencing queer nightlife and spaces, um, like Arena in K-Town. 7:13 W- what can you recall or what do you remember about, like, your earliest memories of queer nightlife? Yeah. So growing up in LA there weren't a lot of queer spaces. 7:23 I mean, yes, you had WeHo, but it was primarily, and still is primarily, catered to gay men. 7:28 So when it came to queer women, especially queer women of color, we only had, like, one or two places to go, and at the time it was Arena down Santa Monica Boulevard on your way to the Target, which wasn't there at the time. 7:40 Um, but you just, every Wednesday, no matter what, it was, like, girls night and it was Latin night, and it was this crazy, chaotic party that... And it was, um, if I'm not mistaken, it was, like, 16 and over maybe. 7:55 Like, it was, like, a really crazy time, 'cause I think I remember I was... I wasn't even 18 yet when I would go party. Um, and I had to wear, like, this crazy bracelet to tell everyone that I wasn't of age. 8:06 But it was- [laughs]... it was fun. Like, just going and dancing. I remember they would play, like, merengue, salsa, reggaeton. 8:14 They would play all the bangers, and it was just this magical place that I would just escape to whenever I could on a Wednesday night before school. 8:21 And I think being in community at such an early age made me realize in my 20s that we didn't have that space. Eden and I, we're influencers. 8:31 We've, we've had a big following for the majority of our relationship, so going out was primarily, like, our number one thing to document lifestyle content. 8:40 And we always caught ourselves at, like, the hottest queer girl party, but they would never play Latin music. 8:47 It was always indie night or pop or, you know, the closest would be Y2K and maybe they'll throw Gasolina, maybe if we're lucky, you know? 8:55 And then I just told her one day, we just talked about it, and I was like, "You know what? 8:58 Like, it would be so cool if we just threw, like, a queer Latin night and just, like, kind of flipped it on its head and maybe played one indie song, but it was, like, mostly just Latin bangers, like, all night long. 9:09 What do you think?" And Eden being Eden was like, [claps] "That's crazy. We've never hosted anything, but let me do some research and see what w- what it would take to, like, make it happen." 9:20 And we did one TikTok, I remember we did one TikTok, just talked about, like, "Hey, if you're a Latina, a queer Latina in LA and you wanna hear merengue, reggaeton, all these, all these types of genres, meet us here." 9:33 And it just blew up. It was crazy. It was right after the pandemic, and our little video generated like half a million views and everybody was like, "Where? I'm there." Like, "This sounds awesome." 9:44 And we did our first one in the tiniest bar that is no longer there, and we had a line of, like, 500 people, like, out the door. 9:52 As soon as the doors opened, the security was like, "I don't know who you are or what this party is, but this is crazy. You guys are beyond capacity." And we're like, "We didn't expect this. I'm so sorry. 10:01 I don't even know what to do in this situation." [laughs] Um, and as scary as it was, it was probably one of our most memorable nights, because everybody showed up. Um, we had drag performers on bar tops. 10:14 It was very Coyote Ugly meets queer Latin night. Like, that, that's the vibe. Um, and we partied until 2:00 AM. It was amazing. I remember you telling me that you were told, "Don't make this a L- Latin event. 10:30 Don't make this a Latino event. It won't do well." What did hearing that unlock inside of you? 10:38 I, I think when everybody told us, "Hey, you might not wanna name it some, a name in Spanish, because then you're gonna pigeonhole yourself," part of me was like, "Okay, I get it," because it's never been done before, so they're trying to look out for us in that way. 10:52 But then the other half was like, "F you, dude." Like, you know? Like, it, it, it should be Spanish because we wanna attract our audience. 11:00 We know exactly who our Preciosa is, and that is, like, a queer Latina who's either Chicano or grew up here first or second, third generation, that just wants to be within their culture and their community and, like, dance to their music. 11:13 I'm so glad that we stuck to our guns and we said, "We're gonna keep Preciosa. Whether it succeeds or it doesn't, it's, it's who we wanna be." Yeah. 11:21 And you recently took on DJing, and you are now DJ Preciosa as well, which feels like a natural transition, right? Um, what is the difference between DJ Preciosa and Jae as a person? 11:37 DJ Preciosa is very loud and in your face and just, like... And no fucks given. Like, very much like, "I am the party. I am the vibe." 11:47 Like, "I'm here to bring the bangers and make sure you leave with one chancla and one shoe on the dance floor." Like, that is who I am as DJ Preciosa. Now Jae, on the other hand, is kind of a little bit of a homebody. 12:01 Like, would rather probably hang out with Jayden at home if I didn't have a DJ gig. Um, and is a little, like- Not as in your face, I think, than DJ Paesosa. I can totally see that. 12:14 I feel like the times that we have hung out in person, um, have been not surprising, but they, they have been, like, almost a, a pleasant contrast, because when I do see you in work, you're on, you're ready. Mm. 12:26 Like, you're activated and trying to get the room energized, and then, you know, I think we recently went on, like, a little walk to Villa Tacos, and it was very chill and calm. 12:35 And I, I think that's what's so fascinating to me, is that you and Eden have both built this really beautiful brand together, and you guys have shared so much about your personal lives and the business that you've built. 12:48 Um, so it does seem like people probably do think that they know you very well. How do the two of you protect your privacy? 12:59 I think we protect our privacy now because of Jayden, and because we're in this new chapter, and we, we wanna be protective of him and, and his safety and things like that. Um, I think that we're, like, 13:15 90% of the things that happen in our life, we say them on social. 13:19 We're so used to being transparent with our followers, and it kind of, it's, like, a good thing and a bad thing, 'cause I think sometimes it bites us in the butt, where we... 13:29 There are days where we are not having a good day, you know? And we're, we're not, um, in a good place. 13:35 Like, I think couples in general, they argue, they fight, but for us it's like, well, we still have to talk about it, because our whole platform is about our relationship and who we are individually, but also together. 13:48 It's kind of like a good thing and a bad thing in that sense. Yeah. 13:52 I know you, the two of you have spoken pretty openly about, like, couples therapy, and I'm a big fan of couples therapy, and I really agree with a lot of the stuff that you guys are saying about how it should be a proactive measure. 14:04 But I, yeah, it's definitely one of those situations where you're doing a little bit of airing out about your own personal struggles too. 14:12 Has there ever been a moment where the two of you have been in disagreement about whether to share something or not? Let me think. I think yes. 14:22 Um, during my pregnancy, the nine months that I was pregnant, I think Eden would've preferred to do more content about, like, how I was feeling or, or process and things like that. 14:32 During those nine months, I really wasn't into it. Um, and I think it had many reasons. One, I didn't feel like I looked like myself, 'cause I was, like, 60 pounds heavier than what I normally was. 14:46 Two, I was very tired all the time, so, like, just the thought of, like, getting dressed or doing my hair or getting camera ready or, like, a camera in my face when you don't physically feel like yourself was really hard for me to, to do. 15:02 Um, and third, I think when I was pregnant, I had a realization about motherhood, and that was really messing with my psyche. 15:11 Um, for those of you that don't know, I don't speak to my mom, and I've been no contact for the last sev- going on seven years. 15:18 So for me, being pregnant and being, uh, ready to dive into this motherhood journey, it really messed with me, like, emotionally, mentally. So I think that was probably the only time where I... 15:30 You know, Eden wanted to do all these cute, like, videos and, and in her mind it's like, "This is such a beautiful experience." 15:35 But in my mind, yes, it's beautiful, but I'm also experiencing all of these other things that I don't know how to deal with. Right. 15:42 And I know you've mentioned, like, a big part of why you initially threw yourself into, like, DJing and, like, all these endeavors was to navigate some of the postpartum feelings that you were also having too. 15:53 Um, how did you, I guess, like, work your way through that, or have you? I would say the first two months I was feeling really sad. I was in my head a lot. 16:05 Um, I felt like I wasn't, like, giving Jayden the attention that he deserved. Um, and I felt very lost. Like, I felt like... 16:14 It was almost like one of those, like, man, okay, this is motherhood, and now I have to drop everything else that I've ever been, because I'm only supposed to be mother. 16:22 And it wasn't until I had a conversation, a really candid conversation with Eden, 16:28 like six weeks after giving birth, that I told her, like, "I feel like I need to DJ, and I think it's really important for me to follow that and do something outside of mom, because I feel like I'm losing myself." 16:41 And sure enough, she was like, "Well, the next DJ gig is in three weeks, so go ahead. I will watch him." 16:46 And it was the first time that I had ever left, left him and her behind after pregnancy, but it was Pride, um, in LA, and I was like, "I'm going." 16:56 Freshly postpartum, went and had the best time, and it was so cool, because I feel like that helped me a lot emotionally to get through, like, the roadblocks that I had after pregnancy. 17:08 Yeah, you and I both come from a long lineage of queer women who have mommy issues, [laughs] and I love that we were able to kind of connect on that, um, you know, part of our history and background. 17:22 But I'm wondering, now that you're a mom, has there anything that has healed generationally for you? Yes, 1000%. 17:30 Um, I was raised in a household where beatings were normal, and sweeping your emotions under the rug was, like, typical. Um, and so 17:42 just the way that I'm raising Jayden, that we're raising Jayden, is so different than how I was raised. We're so gentle with him. And, like, till this day, it's so funny, because we... 17:55 I tried to do a skit recently with him, and I banged on his high chair, and the fact that he didn't flinch at all, and he was just like, "Oh, cute," like, "You're being cute with me," like, healed my inner child so much, because, like, when I was a kid and my mom would raise her hand, it was, like, an immediate flinch, because I would, I didn't know when it was coming. 18:15 So to see him react in that, like, super sweet, like, innocent, like, "You would never," like, "You love me," you know, was... I don't know. 18:23 There was something healing about that moment recently that I'm like, wow, we're definitely breaking these generational traumas. I know you said when you got back into DJing, you went to LA Pride. 18:35 I have a very distinct memory of actually doing some coverage of LA Pride, uh, specifically when you guys took the stage. Mm. 18:44 And I could see out into the crowd, there were just, like, thousands of people out there, so excited, so hyped to see Preciosa and the whole team. 18:55 Is there, like, one specific moment that you can recall that you really understood that Preciosa night was not just, like, an event, but, like, a movement? Yeah. 19:09 I think that's actually a very memorable moment for me, um, that specific time when we took the stage and looking out in the crowd, and there was, like, I think 20,000 people, and I couldn't see. 19:20 Like, being on that stage and just seeing heads of people just, like, bopping and having the best time to Hollywood and Highland was insane for me. I think that's definitely a core memory. 19:31 But also those smaller moments in the clubs for us, especially for me, when someone comes up to me and they're like, "Hey, Jay, like, you know, I just wanna thank you for throwing these. I am still closeted, you know, 19:45 around my family, around my friends, but I get to come out here and be with community and be in culture, and you're providing that safe space for me to do so without being outed or without having to deal with the repercussions of not having supportive friends or family." 20:00 Those moments, to me, live forever rent, like rent-free in my head. And there are times where... This is, like, year four. There are times where Eden and I are like, "We're exhausted. 20:10 I don't know if we wanna, like, continue this," because it takes so much effort, time, money, um, just things, um, to make these run, that there have been conversations about us maybe, maybe not. 20:23 Maybe we did what we were supposed to do, and we fulfilled it. But then we run into people like that at the club that are telling us this is, this is their safe haven. This is their everything. 20:33 Like, how can we close the doors? We can't. You know? It's now our duty to provide these safe spaces to the people that don't feel safe outside of Preciosa. I actually heard about you guys through Chicago friends. 20:45 When I first moved from Chicago, um, to California, my Chicago queer friends were like, "You need to go check out this event." And I think at that time, you guys were still more local, at least to the state. 20:57 And now you've been all across the country. Everywhere. We have residencies currently in LA, New York, and San Francisco. Last year, we had residencies in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, and LA. 21:12 Um, and it just keeps growing and growing, and even this summer, we haven't announced it yet, but we have stops in Denver, Colorado. We have stops in Austin, Texas. We have stops in, um, Mexico. 21:27 Like, we're going everywhere. I think this year we wanna be intentional with where our stops are, and we really wanna, like, put money in pockets of queer-owned spaces. 21:39 I think we're being more intentional where we're hosting these, who's making the money off of our events, and how can we help our community, like, truly. 21:47 And there's a big call for smaller cities that, you know, you'd be like, "Why are you going to Texas? Texas is scary." 21:53 And it's like, yeah, but that's who needs it more than LA, more than New York, more than San Francisco. You know? Like, they, they don't have queer land. 22:01 They have l- the least amount of queer land representation, and even if it's 100 people in a bar, that's 100 people that didn't have that, you know, before. 22:09 And so for us, that's kind of the goal this year, is to really think about who are we affecting. We've already done the masses. 22:16 We've already done, you know, the, the, the bigger club scenes, but I think it's important for us to give back in that sense. 22:23 Um, I know you've been very secure in your identity, um, and proudly queer for a long time, but I guess imagining even, like, a 16-year-old Jay, um, trying to kind of grapple with, like, the future and her identity, what would you say to a younger version of yourself now? 22:44 Oh, man. You're gonna make me cry. Um, yeah, I think 16-year-old Jay probably wouldn't have made it to, like, how, like, my age now, because it was really rough for her. 22:57 And not having the support from her family, not having community, and kind of being this black sheep in her family, I think she would be surprised with how far we, we made it, you know? And that's, that's how I feel. 23:12 I think that not only did I find the love of my life, but she's a woman, and she also helped me bring life into this world. And not only that, but we created this incredible community that 23:27 goes from coast to coast and that people find home in. So I think, yeah, I think she'd be pleasantly surprised. 23:36 Well, thank you so much for being here with us today and for sharing so much of your personal life, um, and your journey, and it's always a pleasure to hang out and talk to you, so thank you again. Thank you. 23:50 And that's a wrap on the Latino Newsletter Podcast. Until next time, I'm your host, Michelle Zacarias. 23:55 [upbeat music] This episode of the Latino Newsletter Podcast was produced by Joaquin Kotler, Juan Diego Ramirez, and Michelle Zacarias, with editorial support from Edward Wilkie. 24:10 Julio Ricardo Varela edited the conversation. The music is by Cast of Characters via Soundstripe. Season 2 of the Latino Newsletter Podcast was made possible through individual gifts and the Latino Media Consortium. 24:24 The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the guests and host and don't necessarily reflect those of the Latino Newsletter or its staff. [upbeat music]
